TRIGGER: A Motorcycle Club Romance Novel Read online

  “Mine,” he grunted. “All fuckin’ mine.”

  His thrusts were slow but deep, his cock positioned downward, seeming to plunge to the very depths of my womanhood. A knot of need began to throb in my belly once more, a tangle of desire that connected my clit and my pussy and my breasts as they grazed the bed.

  “Trigger, I’m…I’m…I’m gonna…” I panted, struggling in his grip to press against him faster, needing him deeper and harder. He picked up on it and obliged, beginning to stroke faster inside me, each thrust speeding up and slamming harder and harder into my cunt.

  “Come for me again,” he growled, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of my hips, balls smacking against me as he moved his hips like a piston, a machine built only for my pleasure. The knot in me seemed to expand and expand, and my eyes rolled back into my head, the sheets pulling free of the mattress in my grip.

  He was fucking me so hard it felt like being ravaged by a wolf, some wild beast driven only by primal need. The knot throbbed and grew and throbbed as my clit was driven into the sheets, swelling and pulsing with each slamming thrust.

  “Yes, baby, oh, fuck, yes, I’m gonna…oh god, I’m commminnngggg,” I cried out as he slammed into me one final time, releasing himself deep inside my womb, my pussy milking the cum from his cock, filling me with a sticky warmth as the knot inside me unfurled in glorious tendrils of ecstasy.

  Holding my hips against his, pressing himself into me, he spurt what felt like gallons of cum into me before finally releasing his grip and falling away from me with a wet plop. I collapsed forward, hair sticking to my face as I nuzzled into the pillow.

  “Shit,” he said through panting breaths. “Cass…”

  I could only moan in wordless pleasure, body tingling and comatose. I felt, rather than saw, as Trigger crawled around to lie behind me, enfolding me in his arms once more. I curled up against him, feeling our mingled juices on my thighs. I could feel his heartbeat, fast but slowing, against my back. I wondered if our hearts were beating in time.

  When I woke again, the sun was out once more, morning rising over the desert. Shifting in the bed, something felt wrong. As my mind caught up to my body in waking, I realized I was alone, the space behind me bare. For a moment, panic gripped me.

  He left again, I thought. He left me again…

  Sitting bolt upright, my eyes scanned the room. There was no sign of him…no noise in the small apartment…I was waiting for the sound of a toilet flushing, water running, a plate being removed from a cabinet. Nothing just stillness.

  There must be some explanation, I thought, curling up and bringing my knees to my chest. The immediate panic passed, leaving behind a dull, painful fear. I knew he wouldn’t really have just left…he couldn’t have. Where would he even have gone?

  But in the stillness of the apartment, my mind immediately went to the worst places.

  Maybe he went to pick up breakfast, I thought. But in his condition, he shouldn’t have been going anywhere. Especially not after the energy he’d expended the night before…I could still feel his dried seed on my thighs.

  For no reason, I decided to tip-toe as I left the bedroom. The apartment was small, with just a kitchen and a bathroom off the bedroom. It wasn’t like he was hiding…

  It was about 9am; I didn’t think the bar would be open, but it was the only place within reasonable walking distance for someone who’d sustained his level of injuries. I begrudgingly put on some of the clothes Reign had brought over, which belonged to his wife. I’d arrived with only the clothes on my back, which I’d been wearing since Reno, and they likely would have fallen apart if I hadn’t gotten to change them. Still, it felt strange to be wearing someone else’s clothes, especially someone I’d never met.

  And, it reminded me of the way Reign had looked at me when I’d first arrived. There hadn’t been outright anger in his eyes, but he hadn’t been happy to meet me. And could I really blame him? After all, what Trigger had done for me had caused a lot of trouble, and the club President had wasted no time in telling me that.

  When Jennie and I had arrived, the road had mostly been cleared – mostly. But there was still evidence of the explosion: scorch marks on the pavement, a few ruined tires, bits and pieces of machinery that looked too hot to touch.

  “What the hell…” Jennie had murmured as we pulled up. Ditcher’s Valley had been so small we’d nearly blown clear past it before realizing we were there; the bar-motel looming in the distance had seemed a hive activity in comparison to the bare streets, so we’d naturally decided to try asking there.

  We had slowed to a stop right before the wreckage. The men working on clearing the road and the surrounding desert land looked at us with mingled curiosity and apprehension; just as we pulled to the side of the road, being unwilling to risk Jennie’s tires on a stray piece of metal, a man trotted over to us. Bearded and tall, he was older than Trigger but handsome all the same. Jennie opened the window as he approached.

  “Um…what happened…here?” she asked cautiously. As the man got closer, I recognized him as one of the faces in the crowd at the fight. He’d been at Trigger’s side when he entered. My heart leapt; we were in the right place, after all. I leaned across Jennie, terrified to ask what had happened to him. I knew there was a damn good chance the answer would kill me.

  “Who’s askin’?” the man responded gruffly, leaning down to examine us through the window. When he saw me, his eyes widened slightly then narrowed once more. “Do I know you?”

  “I’m…I’m…what…where’s Trigger?” The words came out thick and wet, a sob already prepared in the back of my throat. I hoped against hope…

  “Oh. It’s you,” the man said, his attention drawing back to the men lugging metal off the road. “You’re the one that….well, shit. Okay, come on, ladies.” He started to move away, back in the direction of the bar.

  Jennie and I shared a glance. He didn’t say…he didn’t say he was okay…he didn’t…he’s not, oh God, he’s not okay…

  As though she could read my mine, Jennie grabbed my hand in hers, squeezing tight. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

  “Wait,” I called after him, and the man paused to turn to me, looking impatient. “Is he dead? Tell me now, please, I have to know…”

  The man shook his head, a small smile playing on the very corners of his lips. So small I thought I’d imagined it.

  “Ain’t dead,” he said. “But come on now, if you’re so damn worried…”

  The tears came anyway, the sob escaping like a caged bird. He’s alive, I thought with a relief that I’d never experienced before in all my life. He’s alive…

  We followed the man into the bar, where he promptly rounded the corner and poured a glass of amber liquid. In the corner, a woman was yelling at someone on a cell phone.

  “I didn’t ask how much it was gonna cost, did I, Jimmy? Do you think we give a shit what it costs? I asked how soon you could get your sorry ass out here with that dump truck of yours and get this shit out of sight. And if you tell me tomorrow, you might as well consider yourself off our payroll,” she said, and from the sound of her voice, I felt bad for Jimmy, whoever he was.

  “Your man is a fuckin’ idiot,” the man said, drawing my attention back to him. He took a sip of his beer, then set it down. “But he’s alive. Gonna pull through just fine. He ain’t awake, though. Dunno how long he’ll be out. Doctor says could be days…could be weeks…no way to say…”

  “He’s in a coma?” I asked, my relief ebbing slightly. Sure, alive was better than dead, but a coma wasn’t exactly ideal for the man I loved.

  “He ain’t that good a doctor,” the man said guardedly. He studied me closely, as though trying to tell my character through my eyes. “I’m Reign. I’m in charge here. Your boy fights for me.”

  “Oh,” I said. “I’m…I’m Cass…”

  “I guess he fights for you, too,” Reign said. His eyes narrowed, then he sighed and shook his head. “I guess I can s
ee why.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, tears prickling again. “I’m sorry I caused all this…all this…”

  “Don’t,” Reign said. “We all had a part to play. And it’s done now. At least, it better be.”

  There was a pause. I wanted to ask what had happened, but I had a more important question in mind.

  “Can I see him?”

  Reign paused to take another sip.

  “I reckon you better,” he said. “C’mon.”

  Jennie and I followed him at a distance as he led us around the back of the bar, past a row of motel rooms, to a small building that looked a bit like a miniature version of the motel. Jennie held my hand the whole time, squeezing tight. One door was slightly ajar. My breath caught in my throat as Reign stepped inside, holding the door open for us. Jennie began to walk in, but my grip on her hand held her back.

  “I can’t,” I said, suddenly clutched by fear. “What if…what if…”

  “Boy’s been through a lot for you,” Reign said in a no-nonsense tone. “You can see ‘im at his worst.”

  The words gave me courage and I moved forward with a deep breath. The door opened onto a small hallway: the kitchen was off to one side, and Reign stepped through to the opposite room. When I followed, I saw only one thing: Trigger, in bed, a bandage on his head. A man stood beside the bed, presumably the doctor, but I paid him no attention. I only had eyes for Trigger. Rushing to his side, I fell onto his body with a sob. I could feel his chest rising and falling beneath me.

  I almost lost you, I thought desperately, as though we could somehow communicate telepathically. You have to come back…

  But unlike the movies, my embrace and tears did not work as some magic bringing him back to waking life. I could barely listen to the doctor as he gave me all his “can’t tell”s and “maybe”s. All I could do was watch his chest rise and fall, rise and fall…

  I told Jennie to leave that night, knowing that she was impatient to get back to Mike. I promised to call with updates, and let her know if I needed her again. The doctor would come to check on him every few hours. Reign drifted in and out, as well as a number of men whose names and faces were immediately forgotten to me. But I stayed at his side the whole time…

  And now he was gone again.

  The early morning air was brisk, the sun still low on the horizon. I trotted towards the bar – then jogged, out of equal parts chill and desire to find him. If he’s in there, I’m going to absolutely skewer the bastard…

  The door was locked. I nearly collapsed against it in frustration. Maybe he went to get breakfast, I tried to tell myself, but more and more I felt that couldn’t be the truth. I walked towards one of the bar’s wide, dingy windows, cupping my hands around my eyes to see better.

  Nothing. No one in the bar. But as I turned, ready to run all the way to town to find him, I heard the soft click of a lock turning. When I looked back, the door was just opening, a woman’s face appearing in the gap.

  “Help you?” she said. I recognized her; she had been on the phone when I’d first arrived, and she’d come to visit Trigger when he was laid up in bed. Where he should still fucking be, I thought.

  “I’m looking for Trigger,” I said, moving closer, hoping she would open the door and reveal him hiding in the shadows somewhere that I wouldn’t have been able to see from the window.

  “Oh, I’m sorry doll, he’s not here,” she said. Seeing the disappointment in my eyes, she opened the door wider and made a gesture inviting me inside.

  “What’s that boy doing out of bed, anyway?” she asked when I entered, my eyes still scanning the room even though she’d confirmed his non-presence.

  “I don’t know,” I said, shivering off the last of the chill. “That’s why I’m looking for him.”

  The door clicked shut again behind me. The woman, red-haired and beautiful, breezed past me. A stack of receipts and a ledger sat open on the bar.

  “Men,” she said. “Wouldn’t be able to take a damn splinter out of their toe without someone holdin’ the tweezers.” She flashed me a smile. “Don’t worry too much, babe. Really, he probably just went to get muffins or something. Though I never though Trigger to be much of a breakfast in bed kinda guy. You must have his heart something fierce.”

  “I…I uh, well, I’m just worried he…he’s always leaving, see,” I stuttered. I wanted to take comfort in the woman’s words, but my mind was still reeling over the horrible scenarios that it was imagining. Maybe Trigger did go to get breakfast, and had passed out and was lying in a gutter freezing to death…

  “Well, was his bike still outside?” she asked. I realized I’d been too frantic to check and shrugged.

  “Trigger won’t go anywhere without that low-rider,” she said confidently. “I’m Honey by the way. I gotta say, my boys sure do know how to pick ‘em.”

  She was looking me over in a way that reminded me, vaguely, of how I had looked at Mike: protective, judging, ready to find what was wrong. Only she seemed a bit more open to what might be right.

  “So you, uh…you live here, or…?”

  “Yup,” Honey said with a nod, settling herself back in over the paperwork. “House mom. Sort of. Except I drink and swear and sleep around. Not very motherly, I guess.”

  “Well, listen, uh, I was just looking for him, so if you see him…”

  “I’ll tell him you came by. Looking like a kid who just lost his blankie, by the way. You plan on sticking around?”

  The question struck me. I hadn’t given it too much thought, really; my only plan had been to get back to Trigger, make sure he was okay. I wanted…I wanted…

  The more I tried to define what it was that I wanted, the less I could say for sure what that was. I couldn’t go back to Brock. I couldn’t go back to Colorado. I wanted…Trigger. That was all. I wondered if that made me feel pathetic, like some princess in a tower who’s only care or interest was her Prince Charming.

  “If you do,” Honey said, apparently picking up on the fact that her answer wasn’t coming around anytime soon. “You’ll like it here. If Trigger likes you, we’ll like you. And if you like Trigger, I reckon you’ll like us. We’re small, but we’re tight.”

  She gave me another look, this one more piercing, as though she were digging into my past by way of my eyes.

  “And we take care of our own,” she added with a grim nod, far more serious than the rest of what she’d said. I blushed and shuffled slightly in my shoes; did I need protection? I didn’t want to think so. But then again…I hadn’t made the best decisions for myself.

  “Thanks,” I managed to say, backing towards the door, put off by the intensity of her stare. Luckily, it was broken as she smiled at me amiably.

  “Try not to worry too much,” Honey said. “If Trigger runs away, we’ll find him and bring him back. The dude put us through hell for you, and we all want to see a happy ending after that shit.”

  “Thanks again,” I said before opening the door and facing the cold once more. I considered walking into town, but first decided to check the room once more, in case he’d returned while I was out. I noticed, on approaching his apartment, that his bike was in fact parked out front, but since I hadn’t paid attention to whether or not it was there beforehand, it was little comfort to me. Opening the door, I sniffed the air as though to smell his return. The apartment felt cold.

  And then, immediately, warm.

  He was sitting on the edge of the bed.

  “Trigger,” I said, my voice a gasp, as though he’d been gone for hours when really I’d only been looking for thirty minutes. All at once, my fear subsided, replaced by a dull ache I’d come to consider love in uncertainty. “Where did you go?”

  “I’m sorry, Cass,” he said, holding his arms out to me, seeing my anxiety clearly. I moved between his arms quickly, happy once more to feel his body pressed against mine.

  “You’re in no shape to be going anywhere,” I said, nuzzling my nose into his hair and breathing in the swe
et, musky scent of him, mixed with the sterile scent of the bandage still wrapped around his temple.

  “I know,” he said. “But I was only at Reign’s; had to ask him. Just to be sure.”

  “Sure of what?” I asked, pulling away to sit beside him on the bed. He took my hand in his, turning to face me, eyes melting into mine. His gaze was so intense that I shivered.

  “That you could stay. If you want to…” His sentence trailed off, and his hand tightened around mine, squeezing.

  “Trigger…” I said, so sure he had to know that all I wanted to do was stay. It didn’t matter if it was here, or back in New Hampshire, or even back in Brooklyn. I only wanted him. And if that made me a weak, one-dimensional, silly little girl…so be it. I’d only loved one man in my entire life. Without him…